so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Life is so much better after having sex.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
