You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
