we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
