Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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