Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
