Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
