you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
