No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
