I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
