She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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