Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
