too bad you live with your parents still
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
