is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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