im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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