I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
