I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
