On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
