remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
