So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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