Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
ttyl tear gas
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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