he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
