Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm always down for nudity.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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