You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
