I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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