im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
