Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
