how can u be prego again
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
