I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
