Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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