My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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