Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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