I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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