You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
