READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
