no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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