So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
