would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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