i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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