chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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