The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
