my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
