I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
