positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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