My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
