Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
