you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
