People in love make me want to vomit
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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