So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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