i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
