Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
